SIYSA Hawks Tryouts and Soccer Camps

They're in Marion. Here's the info (from Bobby Newberry).

Kendall Carter and Ryan Stark

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Is there a coach in our system who teaches this? Did Kendall teach it to Ryan, or is it something they learned independently? Did Michael Jordan play soccer as a kid?

Champions!

The 5th and 6th Boys with their championship trophies. 

Bottom Row; Hayden Newberry, Logan Tweedy, Jared Toler, Cody Garver, Caleb Mixen, Eli Scherer, Kim Mixen, Mason Hayward.
Top Row; Seth Watson, Mason Wheaton, Jaden Plumb, Tyler McDaniel, Travis Smith, Valerie Pender, Elias Keller, Enrique Arrieola

Coaches : Bobby Newberry and Doug Mixen

Having already solved the offsides mystery, the etymology of homodekaphobia, and the conundrum of the coed team that consists of all boys, the Union County Brain Trust takes on more complex questions. Like "Who Let the Dogs Out?" Who? WHO? 

Cape Giradeau Results

Below are the Cape results. The game I wish I had seen was the Cape versus Cobden High School game. In that one (I got this from a reliable source), a Cape player got a yellow card. Then they got another one. Then another one. Then another one. Then ANOTHER one. Finally, the ref slapped a red card on a player; that apparently angered the Cape goalie who got a red. Then the team left (my source wasn't sure if their coach got heaved). This in a 1-0 game!!!

1st and 2nd Results from Cape

The boys finally lost a game, a heartbreaking (and rough) 0-1 loss to the Perryville Stingers. They beat Carbondale 2-1 and the Flippin' Farmington Rabid Cats (which gets my vote for the WORST nickname of the tournament) 3-1.

The girls Beat the snot out of the Perryville Hurricanes (it might have been the Herricanes) 10-0. Wow! They had the favor returned by Jackson Red 1-8, and also lost to the Cape Stars 3-5. They also lost 0-3 to Jackson Gray. But hey, 13 goals in 4 games means they improved dramatically! Good job, girls!

5th and 6th Co-ed at Cape

CHAMPIONS! Congratulations to the co-ed team, who beat Perryville Power and Light 1-0, the Festus Sidewinders 2-0, and Jackson Red 4-1, before winning the championship game against the Saline/Jackson team 3-1.

Cape Giradeau Junior High and High School results

The Junior High lost to the Los Cobden, cero paro dos, to De Soto (the guy who was the first white man to explore Florida) 1-3, and to the Perryville Storm 0-1. Jacob Brimm broke- no, wait - FRACTURED his wrist in the second game.

The High School took it on the chin from Perryville 1-3, Cape United 0-5, and the aldea of Cobden 0-2. They won their last game, but I don't know who they beat or the score. All I know is Abby Cohen didn't play that one after breaking her foot.

Feed your kids more milk. Please.

Tom Hanks gets ready for the World Cup... 

The Mad Mullahs Draw a Mascara Line in the Sand

The Head of Iran's Physical Education Organization says he's had it with girly-man soccer players:

"It is really disgraceful for Iran that young people step onto fields wearing make-up," the top official fumed. "When a man enters the field with dyed hair and groomed eyebrows he is disrespecting society."

The paper said Ali-Abadi appeared to be particularly worried about footballers, and warned that "even though they get away with it now, they will be disqualified in future".

This blogger has an idea : men attending World Cup matches should wear wigs and dresses. As he puts it, "Crossdress for Iran! Crossdress for human rights!"

Do pink goalie gloves count?

5th and 6th Boys at Whirlwind

The 5th and 6th grade boys took fourth place in the Marion Whirlwind Tournament, beating Perryville Power and Light, Saline, and Jackson Red, with a loss to Perryville Drillers. They lost in the playoff 1-2.

I guess at my age, people PAINTING their hair white makes no sense.

Marion Whirlwind CHAMPIONS

The 1st and 2nd grade boys team:

In front: Zach Paar, Elijah Haar, Isaac Pender, Ryan Stark, JT Moore, Collin Prather, Orlando Arreola; Second row: Dale Prater, Wyatt Smith, Dakota Earnhart, Hunter Garver
Coaches - Butch Earnhart, Daryll Pender, Greg Moore

A Boy Out Standing in His Field

Joel Hardin.

Whirlwind Tournament Results, JH and HS

The Junior High team was missing some boy players who decided a school trip to some third world backwater was more important than this tournament. No problem - the girls were phenomenal and they managed to split four games, beating Carbondale and DeSoto before losing to the Saline Lion Kings and Cape. The High School lost a couple of heartbreakers to Cobden and Peryville, got slapped by DeSoto (?), and ended by slapping back at Mt. Vernon.

Whirlwind Tournament Results, 5th and 6th Grades

The girls (who get my vote as the most fun Union County team to watch) split their first four games by scores of 1-2, 2-1, 2-1, and 1-2. I don't know the score, but they beat Carbondale to take the 3rd place trophy. I'm guessing it was 2-1.

The boys...I forgot to write down. I'll get back to you.

Whirlwind Tournament Results, 3rd and 4th Grade

The third grade boys went undefeated, beating Perryville in the finals 1-0 to take the Championship. The aggregate score was 18-1. This is a very special and talented group of kids and mark you calendars - AJ High School Varsity Soccer will win the title in 2013.

The 4th grade boys made it to the consolation round, losing to Carbondale but winning a 4th place prize. Make that 2012.... Their only loss in the preliminaries was a 0-1 game to the Cape Mud Dogs (whatever that is). Cape eventually took the championship.

The girls's team clobbered the Marion Katzenjammer Kids 5-2 to take 3rd (see photo below).

Whirlwind Tournament Results, 1st and 2nd Grade

The boys' team mopped up the first four teams they played (Marion, Jackson Gray, Perryville Lightning, and Farmington) by a total score of 34-2. Things got a LOT tougher in the championship game against the Perryville Dragons...but they still prevailed 1-0 to take another championship! Congratulations!

The girls' team had a tough go. They were seeded in an extremely tough division against Jackson, Cape Girardeau, and Marion. On the bright side, they got better in each game they played and did their best in each and every match. Congratulations, girls! You did yourselves and your parents proud!

Hey! Who do Sammy Schott and Natalyn Hepburn think they are, SHELBY? 

Third Place

The 3rd and 4th girls team beat the Marion Katz 5-2 to take the third place medallion at the Marion Whirlwind Tournament.

Coaches: Doug "Superfly" Edwards and Matt "Cool Puff D Daddy" Denny.

Back Row: Hannah Pineau, J.J. Ford, Suzannah Cohen, Katie Edwards, Bailey Stearns
Front Row: Kendall Carter, Sarah Coleman, Mikayla Dammerman, Courney Kendricks, Sammy Schott, Shelby the Patient and Kind, Natalyn Hepburn, Baylyie Denny, Cyndi Miller, Sammy Brimm.

With the power invested in me as President of the Union County Soccer League, I hereby name Shelby our official mascot. 

Having totally discredited the crane-killing profession, Robby has chosen another career.

Saturday Whirlwind Results

More or less.

OK...starting at the 1/2 level...

The boys are ridiculously good. They stuffed wood ticks down the underpants of Jackson 9-0 and won their late game by a lot.

The girls got stuck playing some really good teams and dropped two games.

3/4 level

The 3rd grade boys are still undefeated, beating their nemisis Perryville, 2-0.

The 4th grade boys kissed their sisters by tieing Carbondale 0-0, but beat Chic-Cobden 4-2.

The girls lost to Carbondale 1-2, but came back to tie an excellent Perryville squad, 0-0.

5th and 6th boys lost 0-2 to Perryville.

The 5th and 6th girls are a lot of fun to watch! They beat Saline Count 2-1 on a corner kick goal.

The Junior High is doing well, considering that some of their players decided to go to...well, don't get me started. Anyway, they beat Carbondale 3-0, DeSoto 2-1, then lost a heartbreaker to Saline County 0-1.

The High School is having a tough go, losing to Cobden 2-3, Perryville 1-2, and some other team by some other score.

I'll have the final results and photos tomorrow!

Katie Edwards tries to get a toe on an ALMOST perfect pass from Kendall Carter. Kendall thought it WAS perfect... 

A firm grasp on the obvious...

Everyone who couldn't have figured this out on your own, raise your hand.

MARION WHIRLWIND TOURNAMENT

The Whirlwind Tournament began in Marion Friday night. Here are the results so far:

The 1st and 2nd grade boys team tied rats to the tongues of the Marion Cyclones 10-0.

The 3rd grade boys poured honey on Saline County and tied them to an ant hill, 8-0.

In more convential games...

The 3rd and 4th grade girls squeaked past the Marion Katz, 3-2. This game included one of the best plays I've seen at this level...no, the best play. On a Marion direct kick from just outside the box with minutes to play, the ball sailed over the head of the goalie only to be headed out by Suzanna Cohen at the goal line. I was standing behind the goal and had already mentally chalked up the goal. Unbelievable!

I checked on the 5th and 6th grade girls at halftime of the 3/4 girls game and was told that they were getting slapped around by the Marion Wildcats. However, every time I looked over there during the second half it seemed like our girls were taking a shot - turns out they lost 1-2, but from where I was standing when the game ended they seemed as excited as if they won.

The High School played, but I don't have the results.

Senator McGavick says...

Iran should be banned from the upcoming World Cup.