This is lame...

DEALING BY WHEELING: Three Argentinean fans were thrown out of their home nation's World Cup match against Holland after it was discovered that they masqueraded as disabled in order to buy discount tickets. The three rolled wheelchairs to their fraudulent seats, Ananova.com reported on June 27. But their ruse was discovered when one got so excited by the game that he leapt out of his seat. His buddy explained: "Our friend couldn't stop jumping and a person near us thought there was a miracle happening."

Third-World Cup results

Somalia Defeats Rwanda To Win Third-World Cup

June 29, 2006 | Onion Sports

KHARTOUM, SUDAN—The host city of the 2006 Developing Nations Football Championship erupted in cheers that nearly drowned out the cries of the starving and wounded Tuesday when the underdog Somali side, playing four down due to injuries and landmines, outlasted the more experienced if disease-ridden Rwandans 1-0 to win the inaugural Third-World Cup.

Quarter-Final Round

England plays Portugal, France plays Brazil, Germany plays Argentina, and Italy plays Ukraine.

Wouldn't it be cool if the final four were Germany, Italy, France, and England? It would be like World War II without all the guns and stuff. Italy is particularly suited for the role seeing as how their players dive for cover whenever a shadow passes near them.

Italy Sucks

In the final seconds of the Italy - Australia game, Italy's Fabio Grosso had the ball in the goalie box. The Australian defender tried to slide tackle the ball away but missed. Grosso had a choice - step over the defender and take a shot, or flop and try to get a penalty kick. Being on the Italian team he naturally took the flop option and got a penalty kick. Francesco Totti scored; game over, 1-0. After scoring Totti ran around SUCKING HIS THUMB! Classy. 

About the Portugal-Netherlands game...

What a disgusting display. Portugal managed to prove themselves to be the dirtiest team in the Cup, while also managing to take the title for biggest babies of the tournament. Holland wasn't much better.

And in defense of Referee Valentin Ivanov... in my opinion, the teams DESERVED the 16 yellow cards laid on them. Despite knowing that he was going to be slapping cards, neither team could control themselves. Portugal now faces England without Deco and Costinha Good. I hope they lose.

Sunday's Games

Sven Eriksson (England's coach) dissed me. No sooner did I write an entry questioning the single striker strategy he CHANGED to it. And got lucky, thanks to Beckham's goal.

Holland's coach, Marco Van Basten, also dissed me. He BENCHED HIS BEST SCORER, Ruud Van Nistelrooij. Not only benched him, but DIDN'T even PLAY HIM. And lost 0-1.

BRILLIANT!

That's what Maxi Rodriguez's goal to beat Mexico was...brilliant. 

200TH POST

The 200th post to this blog was a photo of a guy in a kangaroo suit. What does it mean?

AUSTRALIA IN THE FINALS FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 32 YEARS!

How can you NOT cheer for a them? 

I Don't Know Much About Soccer, But...

Teams playing in the World Cup fell in to two basic categories, those that use a single striker and those that use two. It occured to me (and I could be wrong) that those who used two strikers in the first round scored more goals than those that didn't. Argentina, Spain and Germany scored 8 goals each, Brazil 7 goals. They use two strikers. Portugal(5), Holland (3), U.S.A. (2) and France (only 1 goal when using a single striker) attack with one.

Call me crazy, but it seems to me that if you want to score you want to use two strikers. I'm no Bruce Arena but I WAS born in Brooklyn...

Soccer as Metaphor

Mostly soccer is just guys in shorts running around aimlessly, a metaphor for the meaninglessness of life.

Last Day of the First Round

After today, we'll know who will fill the last spots in the Round of 16. There are eight teams playing; only Togo has been eliminated. Spain is just about a lock.

Don't forget, you can go to the FIFA World Cup web site for a schedule of the next round's games!

Why Americans Don't Care

From the Weekly Standard's Jonathan V. Last:

But there is one obstacle to soccer acceptance that seems insurmountable: the flop-'n'-bawl.

Turn on a World Cup game, and within 15 minutes you'll see a grown man fall to the ground, clutch his leg and writhe in agony after being tapped on the shoulder by an opposing player. Soccer players do this routinely in an attempt to get the referees to call foul. If the ref doesn't immediately bite, the player gets up and moves along.

Making a show of your physical vulnerability runs counter to every impulse in American sports. And pretending to be hurt simply compounds the outrage. Basketball has floppers, but the players who do it--like Bill Laimbeer, whose flopping skills helped the Detroit Pistons win two NBA championships--are widely vilified and, in any case, they're pretending to be fouled; they never pretend to be injured.

The U.S. team has gone the way of the pig-footed bandicoot. 

Groups C and D

Play is complete. Moving on are Argentina, who will play Mexico in the next round and Netherlands (RUUD!), who will play Portugal.

Wayne Rooney

This is a Nike ad starring England's Wayne Rooney. What do you see? To me, it's a shirtless footballer who is excited and painted with the national symbol of St. George's cross. Creepy? Yes. Make me want to buy Nike? No.

What do other's see? From The Daily Mail:
Labour MP Stephen Pound said the advert was 'truly horrible.'

'This is such a horrible image and is so horribly war-like that it can only be described as Nike being crass, offensive and insensitive as they try to hitch poor old Rooney to their commercial band-wagon.'

Rev Rod Thomas of Church of England evangelical group Reform says, 'It therefore brings to mind the crucifixion to many people, and why Nike would want to do that, I haven't a clue, unless it is simply as a publicity stunt.

'The trivialisation of Christ's suffering is highly offensive to Christians and to God. This will cause real hurt to people."

Geez...lighten up, guys. 

Bart should play for Portugal, THE GREATEST NATION ON EARTH! 

The Greatest Nation on Earth is...PORTUGAL!

Portugal beat Mexico 2-1 today in World Cup action.


This is from a Simpson's episode:

TV Announcer: The Continental Soccer Association is coming to Springfield!
It's all here--fast-kicking, low scoring, and ties? You bet!
Bart: Hey, Dad, how come you've never taken us to see a soccer game?
Homer: I...don't know.
TV Announcer: You'll see all your favorite soccer stars. Like Ariaga!
Ariaga II! Bariaga! Aruglia! And Pizzoza!
Homer: Oh, I never heard of those people.
TV Announcer: And they'll all be signing autographs!
Homer: Woo-hoo!
TV Announcer: This match will determine once and for all which nation is the
greatest on earth: Mexico or Portugal!

-- Watching television, "The Cartridge Family"

They Need A Magic Stretcher!

I don't know what to make of this story.

If these guys are so serious about soccer, how come China is ranked 68th by FIFA?

Tuesday's Games

Group A and B finished up yesterday. Germany advances to play Sweden; England will play Paraguay. Groups C and D finish today with two good ones - Ruud's team plays Argentina and Mexico against Portugal.

Monday's Action

No surprises as Switzerland, Spain and Ukraine won. Big matches today - Germany versus Ecuador to see who takes the Group A, and Sweden versus England to see who takes Group B. All of them should be moving to the next round, and these games will determine the match-ups.

Told ya!

I TOLD you waving an Israeli flag would cause seething and whining!

The final goal in the Brazil game was scored by FRED. Was it this one? 

Or this one? 

John Pantsil, a Ghana defender, pulled an Israeli flag from his sock after Ghana scored a goal yesterday. Much seething and whining sure to follow... 

Sauturday in Germany

The importance of the U.S.-Italy game was changed dramatically when Ghana beat the Czechs, 2-0. The group is a mess...Italy with 4 points, Czech Republic with 3, Ghana 3, and the U.S. has a point. So if Italy beats the Czechs, and the U.S. beats Ghana, the U.S. moves on to the next round and the chance to play Brazil. Great! This assumes Brazil can get by Australia today...

It's all about...the referee

Eric Wynalda said in the post-game, "Players win games, coaches lose them, and referees ruin them." He was talking about Jorge Larrionda who refereed the U.S.-Italy match. By the way, Larrionda was suspended for 6 months 4 years ago for "irregularities" during a probe of bribery in Paraguay. 

Everyone loves RUUD! 

World Cup Photos

To give credit where credit is due, the World Cup photos are from the FIFA Word Cup website and are copyrighted by AFP.

DIDIER BILE

Wow! Who knew Didier Bile, one of the founders of Zouglou music, was an Ivory Coaster fan? Not me! 

RUUD! RUUD! RUUD!

GOOOOOAAAAAL! Our boy Ruud scores and then worships a corner flag. 

Friday

Argentina...phew. 6-0 against Serbia/Montenegro. That's a lot. RUUUUUUD scored for the Netherlands. Mexico tied a short-handed Angola team 0-0. Games to watch - Germany versus Ecuador and England versus Sweden on the 20th. If England or Germany loses or ties, it sets up a Germany versus England game in the next round.

IS THAT A MASK IN YOUR POCKET, OR ARE YOU JUST GLAD TO SCORE A GOAL?

Ivan Kaviedes of Ecuador scored a goal and pulled this mask OUT OF HIS PANTS and put it on his head. It just ain't right.... 

Thursday results

Down and out: Costa Rica and Paraguay

Moving on: England (that would be the team I picked to win the whole thing).

Killed their cows : Ecuador

The European teams continue to win, if not impress. Ruud and the boys take on Ivory Coast today. The other game of interest for locals is Mexico versus Angola. A win should guarantee moving on.

GENTLEMEN, IT'S TIME TO KILL YOUR COWS

IF your cow is from Ecuador.

World Cup Wednesday

The first game between Spain in Ukraine was almost unwatchable for two reasons:

1) Spain slaughtered them 4-0, and
2) Henry Higgins teaching Eliza Doolittle to speak proper English (you know... "The rain in Spain falls mainly in the plain").

It was hard to pick a team to cheer for in game two (Saudi Arabia versus Tunisia).

The last game was the best of World Cup so far. Germany scored in the 91st minute and beat Poland, 1-0. Germany hit the cross bar on consecutive shots with about a minute to go in regulation time, then scored - but they were offsides.

Strangely, ESPN2 went directly from this game to ...championship DOMINOES!

YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE....

From George Will's column:

"Military engineers recently cleared garbage from a field in Fallujah, resurfaced it with dirt and put up goal posts to create an instant soccer field. A day later, the goal posts were stolen and all the dirt had been scraped from the field. Garbage began to pile up again.''

An Army captain asked, "What kind of people loot dirt?''

HEY, LUIGI! I KNOW WHO STOLE THE TOVAGLIA!

Croatians in tableclothes. 

Tuesday's Games

The most interesting item from yesterday's game:

France won the World Cup in 1998. In 2002, they were shutout in all 3 first round games. Yesterday they tied Switzerland 0-0. A basic rule of soccer...score no goals, win no games.

Africa stayed winless as Togo lost. Kaka scored the only goal for Brazil in a 1-0 game versus Croatia. I like the Croatian uniforms - they look like the scavenged an Italian restaurant for tablecloths.

Italian Teams Through History

There are two things you can be sure of seeing when you watch any Italian soccer team. A grown man with a ponytail... 

And lots of players flopping around like fish out of water and looking like they're going to die...only to jump up and start running around after a ride on "The Magic Stretcher". 

USA vs. Czech Republic

I watched the whole USA-Czech Republic and think I heard Brandon Donovan's name mentioned twice. To me, that explains the final score. Plus, when your goalie is a Czech named Cech it gives you a psychological boost. Imagine if our goalie was named American. You'd have to make him Captain, wouldn't you?

Why England Will Win

They have BADGERS!

Union County Soccer in the News

From Missy Carter:
This is a picture from a 3V3 soccer tournament that we played in this weekend in Nashville TN. We had to play in the competitive bracket instead of the rec. brackets and we won second place. We qualify to go play in Clarksville TN, if we finish in the top five we can play at Disney Wide World of Sports.

Doug and Robbie were our coachers. We have Courtney, Emily Bleyer, Katie Edwards, Morgan Giesler, Kati McIntyre and Kendall. 

Monday's Action

Group E starts action today as the Czech Republic takes on the U.S. and Italy plays the Black Stars of Ghana. Two great goalies in the first one (Petre Cech and Kasey Keller); the second game is a mystery. The African teams (Ivory Coast and Angola) have been a disappointment so far.

Thanks You Sir, May I Have Another?

Not only did Iranian Sports Minister Mohammad Aliabadi get to watch the Iranian team get the bejeezus kicked out them by Mexico, he also got to watch as "(S)ome 1,000 people, among them Israel supporters and exiled Iranians, rallied on Sunday in Nuremberg to protest against Iran's foreign policy as the country's team faced World Cup opponent Mexico on the pitch."

It's Getting Harder to be a Good Parent

From Somalia, where two people were killed protesting this decision:

The JIC (Joint Islamic Court) deputy chairman AbdulKadir Ali Omar said the Islamic tribunals would crackdown on halls that defy the order to show western films and video, including the World Cup.

"We shall not even allow the showing of the World Cup because they corrupt the morals of our children whom we endeavour to teach the Islamic way of life," he added.

FIFA Web Site

This is about the best website I've seen. Photos, rosters, news, schedules, and lots more!

KAKA vs. LOCO

Brazil may have KAKA, but Angola has LOCO! 

Sarong Wearing Pretty Boy

Here's David Beckman - the world's greatest player (maybe not, but CERTAINLY the most famous) with his wife, Posh Spice. And yes, HE'S WEARING A SARONG!  

This must be one of the " sarong-wearing multimillionaire pretty boys" referred to earlier (two posts down).

Watch the World Cup ... and go to hell!

From Little Green Footballs:

Saudi cleric Nasser bin Sliman Al-Omar explains why watching the World Cup may cause you to be condemned to eternal torment. (Courtesy MEMRI TV.)

"During the last World Cup, while the call for prayer was being aired on TV... the TV that was broadcasting the game announced: “We will now broadcast the call for prayer.” The ball was really close to the goal at that moment, and one guy got up and cursed the muazzin.

[...]

I am saying to the fathers, to the mothers, and to the people who watch these games: On Judgment Day, a page in the book will be opened for you, and it will say that you sat and watched the games. Will this make you happy or miserable? Will this make you happy on Judgment Day, when you face Allah, or will you wish you had never watched these games?"

More on those wacky Brits...

"A time to make friends" is the German slogan for making nice at this World Cup. One British commentator writes that English fans would "still prefer to be bombing Germany, but after 60 years there's a dawning suspicion that those days aren't coming back any time soon, and in the meantime we must rely on sarong-wearing multimillionaire pretty boys to kick the Argies [Argentineans] for us."

Brits invade Germany...again.

Oh, those wacky British soccer fans!

HEY! It's Ruud van Nistelrooij !

Ruud! 

World Cup Starts Friday!

Who will win? Beats me...

Brazil is the favorite. However, European teams do well when the games are played in Europe. As a matter of fact, a European team has never won a World Cup played outside of Europe. Home teams do particularly well. In case you're wondering who the home team is, it's GERMANY. I'm pulling for the Netherlands - they have cool uniforms (or kits, as they're called everywhere but here) and a guy named Ruud van Nistelrooij. Say it...Ruud van Nistelrooij.

No Girls Allowed in Iran

I must admit, I wouldn't take a beating so I could watch a soccer game...


Women beaten and rounded up at the occasion of soccer game
SMCCDI (Information Service)
Jun 1, 2006

Several women and their male supporters were beaten or rounded up, yesterday, at the occasion of the soccer game played between the Iranian and Bosnia-Herzegovinian national teams at the "Azadi" ('Freedom' Stadium) located near Tehran.

Brutal militiamen used clubs and chains in order to break the peaceful gathering of the women who were condemning the Gender Apartheid Policy and the ban of Iranian women from soccer games.

Several maverick young girls were seen keeping their placards in their hands while getting badly beaten and injured.